Things you definitely shouldn’t put in your anus

anus

Despite popular belief, your anus isn’t just a hole – your anus is a sensitive, magical part of the intestine that helps your body stay clean and working. If you’re for any reason thinking about putting something in it(like the best anal toys), we bring you a list of things that you should avoid. This may look like a joke, but you wouldn’t believe how many people will (hopefully) understand it as a guide.

  1. Nutella – Sticky yummy substances are always better on pancakes and bread. Otherwise, your anus might get “blocked”.

 

  1. Toothpaste (not gel) – Don’t ever, ever put any toothpaste in your butt. Sure it smells nice, but it stings like the devil.

 

  1. Balloon – No, there’s absolutely no way you can put a balloon inside your anus, even if you’re used to having monstrous gases.

 

  1. Coins – Too dirty. Besides, there are better places where you can keep your money, for example, in the bank.

 

  1. Petrol lighter – It’s flammable, and you (probably) don’t work in the circus… Better forget it until you get hired to put your farts on fire in a safe environment.

 

  1. Animals – Do not put hamsters, guinea pigs or other animals in your anus. It’s stupid, it hurts, and it’s inhumane.

 

  1. Legos – We know they’re colorful and hard to resist, but they’re too rough on the edges.

 

  1. Gummy bears – This will definitely clog your backdoor entrance. Eat them instead.

 

  1. Crayons – Drawing with wax crayons is fun, but just like we teach children not to put them in the nose, adults should also keep in mind that not all things which are one inch long are intended to go into their anus. To name one of the reasons – crayons can easily break.

 

  1. Cigarettes – There’s no point in ruining expensive cigarettes, and everyone knows that asshole is a non-smoker by default.

 

  1. Cocaine – Nope, sorry, you can’t get high through your anus. At least with cocaine, that is. If that was possible, the whole world would have probably looked a lot different.

 

  1. Mobile Phone – While it can be really annoying sometimes, the solution isn’t shoving it where the sun doesn’t shine. But there are some cool vibration apps which you can download and use your phone for external stimulation.

 

  1. Any sex toy that’s been made in China – Since you’re reading this, we assume that you are a person of taste who appreciates good quality. Therefore, it’s definitely better to buy something from well-known manufacturers, because Chinese products are the worst. If you want to be a pervert – do it with style and confidence.

 

  1. Bananas – This could work, but just think about where that poor banana has been? It’s certainly not hygienic even if you put a condom on it. Plus, it’s too soft for penetration, or at least that how we feel about it.

 

Useful links:

http://www.annsummers.com/sex-toys/shop-by-category/anal-toys/

https://www.buzzfeed.com/carolynkylstra/no-butts-about-it

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PicoBong – Unique design and guaranteed pleasure

picobong

“There are sex toys you can use for solo play, for couples, for men and women, but this is the first toy for adults that will never fail to please everyone, anyhow. Our toys are aiming to awaken your imagination in bed, in all possible ways,” said Mauricio Garcia from PicoBong, the latest brand to fall under the umbrella of Lelo worldwide. Their design is very authentic and original, so if you’re into more colorful plastic and silicone-based toys that really look like something you just have to play with, PicoBong’s adult products would be an excellent choice.

 PicoBong Transformer – The world’s first gender-neutral sex toy

Transformer is the first sex toy intended for pleasure of both sexes, and the manufacturers claim that it is “nothing less perverse than your imagination.” It isbasically designedto change how you look at sex toys, because it reallydoesn’t look quite like any other sex toy on the market. Transformertwists and bends so you can use it any way you want, and it is advertised as “millions of sex toys in one”. Fully coated with silicone, 100% skin safe and hygienic, this double ended dildo costs about $ 129 and is composed of two vibrating ends, which are connected by flexible “braid”, so you can easily make the shapes you want. It has 10 modes of adjustable vibration and two motors, one for each end. The product is described as a “clitoral massager, cock ring, G-spotstimulator… perfect for her and him, but also for all other possible combinations.” It sure looks like you can use it for everything!

Other PicoBong products that you should check out

Kaya™ Rabbit Vibe is offering an intense wave of pleasure during outdoor and deep internal stimulation at the same time. Kaya™ has a double engine, which will surely double your enjoyment, it’s perfectly shaped for G-spot stimulation on one side, while its other flexible end is great for external stimulation.

Mahana™ 2 has an innovative design and this duo-vibrator now has twice the power in both directions with 2 motors inside. You can choose them to vibrate synchronously or independently. Moka™ is made for thorough G-spot stimulation, thanks to its dynamic curves and flattened top. Ipo™ 2 has a twice more powerful engine than its predecessor, and it acts as a mini-power plantfull of immense energy. With itswild performance powered by only one AAA battery, Ipo™ 2 is silent, waterproof and it’s very popular on the market.Honi™ Bullet Vibe is among their smallest products, it’s cheap and designed for intense clitoral stimulation. It’s simple shape makes it ideal for all sorts of pleasures,plus it can fit in your pocket. PicoBong is also manufacturinghigh-quality handcuffs, unlike those Chinese products you can usually find in regular sex shops. These cufflinks are very strong and durable, made from 100% super-soft neoprene and padded for better comfort.

Useful links:

https://www.picobong.com/en/index.php

http://emmelinepeachesreviews.com/2014/12/09/toy-review-the-picobong-transformer/

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